Monday, June 26, 2006

GANNET COLLEGE (the college by the sea)

Ms Sally Bland

Principal of the college writes;

Hello, and welcome to the first blog for Gannet College the college by the sea in Kent.

Gannet College is situated in one of those small seaside towns whose name I can't honestly be bothered to remember, its that little one between those two bigger ones that all our students come from.

I have just finished re-writing our mission statement it goes 'Your Fired!' a phrase borrowed from that awful TV programme I know, but one that most of the staff at Gannet and students are likely to hear in the near future.

It is with delight that I have to announce that our long serving vice principal Dr Jonha Heartless will be leaving us. On the seventh of July I will be turning his life support machine off at our end of term, Principal's Ho down and BBQ. Dr Heartless or 'nutter' as he is known by the staff has lain in a coma for the last twenty one years, only able to communicate through his rectum, his stirling efforts to bring Gannet College to its knees has been stirling, but we need a younger person in the job and have decided that its time for dear old nutter to go to that great industrial/race relations tribunal in the sky.

The post for the new VP is up for bids please go to eBay and look under FE Colleges/staff/vice principals and place your bid. Bidding starts at 0.99 pence or Buy it now for £500,000.